Messaging and video chat guide

Set expectations on appropriate behaviour when using these platforms

Before allowing your child to use online video chat platforms or messaging apps, it’s important to have a conversation about what is appropriate behaviour online and to establish clear guidelines. Let them know what types of interactions are acceptable, such as not sharing personal information (for example real names, addresses or phone numbers) and not engaging in inappropriate or unsafe conversations.

Emphasise the importance of avoiding sexual content, swearing or offensive language and discuss how to handle uncomfortable situations, such as when to stop a conversation and exit the chat.

Disable extended-engagement features

Turning off read receipts can give children and young people the space to reply at their own pace, without the pressure of feeling watched or rushed. It helps reduce anxiety about not getting an immediate response and encourages a more relaxed approach to messaging. Help your child learn how to turn these features off so they can protect their mental health when engaging in conversations through messaging apps.

Supervise the use of these platforms

Supervision is key to ensuring your child has a safe and positive experience on these platforms. Consider setting time limits to reduce the likelihood of them becoming too absorbed in the interactions and potentially being exposed to harmful content.

Check in with your child regularly. Ask your child about their experiences on the platform and how they’re feeling about the interactions they’ve had. Open communication is vital to spotting uncomfortable feelings or inappropriate behaviour.

Educate about online privacy and personal information

Teach your child the importance of maintaining their privacy online. Explain that sharing personal information like their full name, school, address, phone number or social media profiles can expose them to online harassment, bullying, grooming or cyber crime. It is especially important to ensure that your child understands that sharing images, whether selfies or more intimate images, can expose them to sextortion or other forms of blackmail.

Encourage them to use pseudonyms or nicknames instead of their real names and avoid revealing any identifying details about themselves during conversations. Instruct them never to share their contact details or other sensitive information with strangers.

Have an exit strategy

Make sure your child knows how to immediately exit a conversation or chat if it becomes uncomfortable or inappropriate. This includes teaching them to use the ‘next’ button on online video chats, blocking people, leaving a group chat, or even closing the app or tab if the situation feels unsafe. Let them know they can always stop the conversation at any point and that they should never feel pressured to continue talking to someone if they feel uncomfortable. Ensure your child knows they can speak to you if a situation feels uncomfortable or unsafe at any time.

Enable parental controls and content filters

Use parental control software and privacy settings on devices to restrict access to certain platforms or content. Many devices and operating systems, such as iOS, Android or Windows, allow you to set up parental controls to limit which apps or websites your child can access. Additionally, some platforms may have content filters that can help block explicit content. Make sure these are enabled on platforms that offer such features.

Monitor and block inappropriate users

Teach your child how to block or report users who make them feel uncomfortable or act inappropriately. Many platforms provide tools to report misconduct or block users. Encourage your child to report any inappropriate behaviour to the platform administrators immediately and support them if they need help doing so. Explain that they can speak to you if they encounter a situation that makes them feel unsafe or upset, so you can help them handle it appropriately.

Talk about online grooming

Discuss the risks of online sexual perpetrators and how some people may try to groom children and young people by gaining their trust over time and manipulating them into sharing personal information or engaging in unsafe behaviours. Make sure your child understands how perpetrators often act, such as pretending to be someone they’re not or making promises to meet up in person.

Teach them to be sceptical of anyone who asks personal questions or pressures them into revealing more than they are comfortable with. Encourage them to always let you know if someone is making them feel uncomfortable.

It’s useful to know about safe and trusted organisations that can support you and your child online.

Establish a safe place for communication

Encourage your child to always come to you if something happens online that feels inappropriate or upsetting. Establish open and non-judgmental communication so that they know they won’t get in trouble for speaking up about their experiences.